Cobra Kai: The 10 Weirdest Quotes From The Show

As a self-aware show that satirizes its own franchise, there are plenty of weird quotes in Cobra Kai.

In addition to being a continuation of The Karate Kid franchise, and a solid action-drama in its own right, Cobra Kai is also a comedy show. Its characters are deliberately funny, each with their neuroses, quirks, and personal bugbears that are readily used for the sake of a gag. Several scenes exist purely to build to a punchline.

As a self-aware show that satirizes its franchise and revolves almost entirely around karate gang wars, there are plenty of odd quotes in Cobra Kai. Whether in-context or out-of-context, many quotes are weird – although often that weirdness is deliberate and played for comedy.

10 “He’s A Sexual Too” – Johnny Lawrence

A major part of Cobra Kai is examining the character of Johnny Lawrence, the antagonist of the original The Karate Kid. In the present day of Cobra Kai, he finds himself as somebody who never really left the ’80s (when he was in his prime) and is clueless about many modern developments. One of these, shown repeatedly in Cobra Kai, is political correctness.

Despite good intentions, Johnny is ignorant of developments regarding gender and sexuality. When Johnny tries to use his student Miguel’s sex appeal to attract new students, he talks to a girl who rebuffs him due to being asexual. Not knowing what she’s talking about, Johnny responds that Miguel is also “a sexual,” calling him a “stud.”

“We Don’t Have To Punch. Hey, Let’s Go Get Some Brunch And Be Friends” – Moon

Moon is a supporting character in Cobra Kai who, despite being an ardent pacifist, finds herself frequently caught between the warring dojos due to being friends with students of Eagle Fang, Cobra Kai, and Miyagi-Do. Much of her time is spent trying to defuse the violence, to little effect.

In the first episode of season 3, after the climactic brawl of season 2, Moon is shown at a peace rally. In Aftermath, Moon is singing a song with some questionable lyrics to try to call for an end to the violence.

“We’ll Melt This Whole Snowflake Generation” – John Kreese

Between seasons two and four, John Kreese is the most significant villain of Cobra Kai. As Johnny’s former sensei, Kreese warped his mind, once tried to kill him, and has a complex love-hate relationship with him. Even more old-school than Johnny, Kreese expresses open contempt towards modern politics and Generation Z, being mentally stuck in the Vietnam War.

When recruiting former ally Terry Silver, Kreese mentions his belief that they can “melt” the “snowflake generation”. This suggests that he sees himself as some visionary leader who can bring about great social change – despite being a teacher of a single dojo with no influence outside of the town.

“I Don’t Believe It!” – Johnny Lawrence And Daniel LaRusso

A recurring point in Cobra Kai is that long-time rivals Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence would make excellent friends if they stopped finding reasons to dislike each other. They share a lot of interests, tastes, and in general, get along very well when forced to.

An early indication of this comes when the two test-drive a car in season 1 and REO Speedwagon comes on the radio. After a bit of banter where Johnny derides the band as “alright,” the two begin to sing along to the chorus, perfectly in sync and in the same key, in an unexpected moment that left fans laughing.

“I Didn’t Realize The Octopus Was Hispanic Now” – Miguel Diaz

One of the major storylines of Cobra Kai‘s first season is the blossoming romance between Miguel Diaz and Samantha LaRusso, even though he is Johnny’s star student and she is Daniel’s daughter. In one episode, they go on a ‘non-date’ to the mini-golf course, winning an octopus cuddly toy during skeetball.

While playfully teasing one another, Sam offhandedly calls the toy “Señor Octopus.” Miguel teases back instantly with the above quote. While it makes perfect sense in-universe, out-of-context it can catch people off-guard.

“It’s Like Women In The Military. It Just Doesn’t Make Sense” – Johnny Lawrence

While Johnny Lawrence’s political incorrectness is often played for laughs, he’s still shown saying things that, to a modern audience, are ignorant and sometimes actively harmful. An early hurdle Johnny crosses is letting girls join Cobra Kai, preferring to keep the boys-only rule from his day.

When arguing with Miguel to keep women out, Johnny explicitly likens it to women in the military – a fact that he is quickly called on. Weird as it is, the quote serves to show the backwardness of some of Johnny’s attitudes, and his lack of knowledge – as women have served in the US military for decades.

“Whatever, Cruella! Why Don’t You Go And Kill A Bunch Of Dalmatians?” – Demetri Alexopolous

For the most part, Demetri is one of the most sensible characters in Cobra Kai, often lampshading some of the more ridiculous plot developments or character decisions. As such, he doesn’t often contribute to the weirdness. When he does, he does so spectacularly.

After being caught kissing the former bully Yasmine, Demetri shouts the above line at her as part of a half-hearted attempt to pretend they’re not together. Aside from being a particularly evocative insult, it is undone within seconds as he confesses to being “101% in love.”

“No Cat” – Bert

Seasons of Cobra Kai tend to end with either a karate tournament or an all-out brawl. In season 3, Cobra Kai attacks the LaRusso household, where both Eagle Fang and Miyagi-Do have gathered to form an alliance. Although a serious moment, the attack begins with a sudden burst of comedy.

Bert, a supporting character, goes outside after hearing a cat trying to get in. Within seconds of Sam pointing out that she doesn’t own a cat, Bert re-enters the scene through the window, having been thrown through the glass by Cobra Kai. Despite what just happened, he sums up the situation with a blunt, deadpan, two-word response.

“There Is Nothing To Fear Except For Fear Itself. And Not Falling Into A Bunch Of Sharp Metal And Broken Glass” – Johnny Lawrence

One of the differences between Daniel and Johnny, which is played for both drama and comedy, is their different methods of teaching. Where Daniel prefers muscle memory-building chores and a safe training environment, Johnny puts his students in rough and unsafe situations which he thinks will toughen them up.

In season 1, Johnny gives his students a lesson in a junkyard, clearly not a healthy environment. To motivate them, he says the above. Although weird, the line is played for laughs, and perfectly underscores Johnny’s teaching technique.

“Is That My Drum In Your Pocket?” – Daniel LaRusso

Sam and Miguel have a habit of using sparring as a form of flirting, with it happening in both season 1 and season 3. On the latter occasion, Sam begins teaching Miguel to counter-attack using the same drum technique Mr. Miyagi once taught Daniel. Inevitably, this turns into the two sharing an intimate moment.

When Daniel walks in, he is taken aback to see his daughter with her ex-boyfriend, who is also his rival’s student. Unable to process all the information, Daniel asks the most hilariously inane question to Miguel, who stowed the drum away to free up his hands.

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