Without further ado, here is a recipe straight from the kitchen of M*A*S*H‘s Gary Burghoff:
2 cleaned lobsters, each weighing 1 ½ to 2 pounds
Have butcher clean and split lobster or do it yourself. To kill lobster, insert sharp knife deeply into back at point where head joins body to sever spinal cord. To split lobster, turn on back; split from head to tail, cutting through to back shell with very sharp knife. Discard intestinal vein at back of head. Leave tomalley (green liver) and red roe. Crack claws. Place lobster on buttered preheated broiler. Broil for about 12 minutes, basting often with melted butter, and sprinkle well with paprika. Serve at once on a heated plate. Serve with additional melted butter and lemon wedges. Serves 2.